Working with Chronically Illness: No, it's not "Just Anxiety"

So often the people I work with come to me and say some version of

“I’m sick and I don't know what's wrong with me.  I've been to the doctor and they said my labs came back normal and it's just anxiety.  That the solution is perhaps a medication or two, or some Vitamin D, and therapy.”

And while this conversation is quite predictable for me at this point, it sure is something that everyone feels so defeated and ashamed by this explanation.

I know doctors mean well, and I understand that chronic stress--from minority stress, childhood trauma, or the day-to-day stressors of life--can contribute to, cause, and exasperate health conditions.  Especially conditions of pain and autoimmunity.

When people are told any version of “stress is playing a factor in your pain, fatigue, or other symptoms,” the message that gets reinforced (unintentionally—I believe—for the most part) is that THIS IS YOUR FAULT.  

Doctors may give you a referral to see a therapist like me, but what you may be telling yourself is:

DUMMY!  You are SO BAD at handling NORMAL LIFE STRESS you are LITERALLY MAKING YOURSELF SICK.

And I can tell you, as someone who has known a lot of chronically sick people—and I count myself among them—NOBODY WANTS THIS.  

I'm not saying that our actions always perfectly communicate that sentiment 100% of the time, but nevertheless it's true.

(And yes, of course there are the outliers, but the people I know who are reading this do not fall into that category.  And I might even argue that even people with factitious disorder imposed on self, also, deep down, don't want this.)

But the great thing is, for the people who have had that awful doctor interaction, there are therapists like me who GET IT.

your illness is not your fault.  But it is your responsibility to deal with it, and that's where therapy can be an invaluable tool.

I walk my clients through how to create effective systems for tracking their health--whether that's to see if medications are actually working for what they are supposed to, or to help keep all their myriad specialists on the same page by effectively summarizing important information to be shared at appointments.

I have fillable Word documents that tell you exactly what info you should be prepared to share at any doctor appointment, and I work with people to make them personalized for their specific needs and specialists.

I do this because I’ve had to create these systems and documents for myself, and i know they work.

My clients aren't the same as me, but when you are dealing with the at-times seemingly constant overwhelm of being sick, it's SO HELPFUL to have something started for you, even if you have to ultimately make some modifications.

If you think you could benefit from the support of a clinician like me, with lived experience with chronic illness who understands the common frustrations that come with interacting with the medical system, you can reach out to me here.